Kyle

I got word yesterday that Kyle, a student of mine, died in a car accident that also killed another person whose name I do not know. I can’t begin to understand why God chose to take these two people from us, from their families, from this world.

I’ve lost a grandparent and a father in the last few years and there’s no guessing, no explaining, no understanding why it happens when it happens. The only way I can cope is by remembering how blessed I was to have known, and shared the world with them while they were here.

In Kyle’s case, it’s pretty easy to see how blessed we were to have shared our part of the world with him. As his teacher, he often reminded me why I chose the profession. He often reaffirmed that decision. He was original, spirited, and often found the motivation that many students lack in the weirdest of places. He wasn’t the traditional A student, but he managed to find personal interest in his studies that led to inspired, creative, occasionally controversial views, and that drove him to produce good, original work. He wasn’t motivated by the grade, he was motivated by his own personal interest. That’s something many students have trouble finding and it frustrates them as they try to be good students as much as it frustrates their teachers who try to provide as many opportunities to create that situation as they can.

Kyle tapped the same motivation as a member of our school’s yearbook staff. A couple of summers ago, Kyle showed up to volunteer to sell advertising for the yearbook. He’d just finished his freshman year. Our sales staff numbers had been dwindling and Kyle was surprised to find out he’d have to take a leadership role. The sales drive was not without frustration and disappointment for all involved, but Kyle stepped up, recruited more help, put in the hours, and occasionally made us all laugh when we needed it most. Without his efforts, that yearbook probably would not have been created... or we would have had to charge something like $90 a copy to cover the expense of printing it.

It was this same drive in Kyle that sometimes put him at odds with teachers and classmates. When he believed in something, he explored it, and pushed those around him to explore it with him, especially when they disagreed with him. For a young man just beginning to understand what personal conviction meant, Kyle handled this amazingly well. He might leave you angry with him one day, but he’d always come back and see how you were doing the next. He often surprised me by coming back and explaining how he’d found a way to understand my perspective, a day or two after emphatically, but respectfully, arguing with me. Most adults don’t have the guts to do that, or maybe they just don’t care as much as Kyle did. Many adults even criticize young men like Kyle for having little respect, yet they also criticize today’s youth for not having the conviction that Kyle had. I know he respected his peers and his teachers because he cared enough to question us. He cared enough to push us beyond the easy answers. He cared enough to come back the next day and make sure we were still friends.

Often the source of these “discussions” with Kyle was the unfairness of the world. He was just beginning to tackle these tough questions. Like most teenagers, his initial interest in deeply philosophical queries came as the result of how the unfairness affected him directly, but it never stopped there. On his bad days it might have paused there, but he always readdressed it after cooling down. He was never satisfied with himself, or how he’d left others until he knew they were in a position to pick up such conversations again when they inevitably arose. How he knew at such a young age that these issues would arise again and again amazes me. Maybe he didn’t, but he knew it was better to leave things on good ground than bad. He knew the personal connection was more important than being right. In order to spark the same drive in others, he would occasionally play with fire on the bridge, but he always came back to make sure that bridge wasn’t burned. He always left it better than he found it.

I know my world is better now than it was before Kyle found it. How I will keep it that way is my next challenge. I do not know and I can’t even imagine how Kyle’s family and the Russia community will move on. I wish I could help them. I do know that God has never put a challenge before me that I couldn’t handle. It doesn’t always seem that way at first, but He always steers us in the right direction. Right now, I have serious doubts about my ability to do justice to Kyle’s memory... about how I will live my life differently as a result of Kyle’s positive influence. This doubt is similar to the question of how a just God could take Kyle from us, but God has never failed me in the past even when I know I’ve fallen short.

To the families of both victims of this tragedy: Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you. People on the other side of the world that you don’t even know are thinking about you right now. The strength you will find to overcome this inspires and humbles us.