Another Sunday

...And the only good thing I can say about it is that we’re one week closer to going home. I think it was John’s wife who mentioned his “Sunday best” in a comment on the “Busted” post, and that’s kind of funny now cuz the old, unofficial PT gear has become the Sunday uniform. Unlike the new, authorized PT gear of nylon running shorts and polyester shirts, the old stuff is comfy and has pockets so it’s what we all wear. The chief just walked into the office and said “I see you’re all still in your pajamas.” And that’s kind of how it is. By the way, the old stuff is cheap at the AAFES online store. Good quality, low prices. Get it while it’s hot!

Yeah, so uh... Sunday. We sat by the fire again last night. The RPG/mortar attacks seem to have

slowed down (knock on wood), we still can’t fix much ‘cuz we’re not getting much in the way of parts from supply (but I’m keeping busy re-ordering everything for the 4^th time,) and nothing has really changed. We joked about the movie Groundhog Day on our last little visit to the area, but it’s come full circle now. In that movie, Bill Murray’s character, Phil Connors, undergoes a series of identity crises. He goes through a dark period, even becoming suicidal, and finally, upon realizing his potential as a human, wakes up and it’s actually a new day.

I hope our remaining time here is long enough to get us through the dark period many of us are in right now. I hope, after being exposed to this, that my brain will function at least at the level it did before I came here. I’m truly worried about what will happen once I’m actually able to accomplish something through my efforts. I don’t know how I’ll be able to handle getting an answer to a simple question without having to explain what I’ve already tried and why I’m so bent on doing it the way it’s supposed to be done. Nor will I know what to do when someone asks me a simple question, and is satisfied with the answer. I’ve grown too used to hearing someone explain why they came to me, why the answer, though accurate, is unacceptable, and then waiting around or asking the question 20 more times until I finally convince them that the answer is the answer and it won’t change simply because they ask me 20 more times... or send someone else in to start that whole process over again. I know I’m forever tainted, and I can handle that. I did this to myself by re-enlisting. But I hope I’m at least able to function in a place where, when I need, say, a spark plug, or a ¼ x 20 bolt, I have a glimmer of hope of actually getting one.

So... that dark period. If we follow the Groundhog Day analogy, then the dark period should start easing its way into some real personal growth. Perhaps this experience is like an intervention, or even basic training, where the victim or student must first hit rock bottom, be broken all the way down, in order to be rebuilt in the proper form. In the movie, things get pretty bleak before they get better. Phil Connors makes some darkly humorous attempts at suicide, including an attempt after kidnapping Punxsutawney Phil and trying to take the furry forecaster with him. But the character’s desperation finally gives way to his learning to play piano, performing aptly-timed first aid techniques, and eventually even getting the girl. He even develops some great techniques for dealing with a pesky insurance salesman he can’t remember from high school. Maybe we’ll all come out of this as evolved as Murray’s character. Maybe this is just one step closer to the self-actualization/transendence at the top of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Yeah, that’s it... so here I am at round 37 of convincing myself this is a good thing. I will make it a good thing. When you can learn something from a situation, you are better for it. That which does not kill us makes us stronger... blah blah blah.

Luth