Quotable

When we got to Ft. Benning, we started writing down quotes of the day. It became so routine, that it actually became almost a required part of the day. It was one of those things that you don't even think about, but just do. As soon as you think about it, send it to committee, it stops happening. As we moved from location to location, and finally got to work, the recording of the daily quotes grew more and more sparse. When we consciously tried to do it, we couldn't recapture the magic. Our own little group was physically separated by the distance between the office and the shop, and, as I may have mentioned, there were myriad frustration factors that pushed fun to the bottom of the list no matter how hard we tried. In any event, here are the collected quotes over the course of the trip. I'm providing context because I want them on here even though the quotes won't mean much to those who weren't there. They were funny (or interesting) at the time and it's my 'blog... don't read 'em if you don't like 'em! (NOTE: not all quotes are appropriate for children... or even some adults)

”...but I don’t have a trap door on my butt.” Laurie re: her rifle butt, and where to keep her bore snake & cleaning kit.

“I have hair on my goofy.” Dewayne re: his new "Goofy" tattoo

“How are we ever gonna survive Iraq when we’re all ate up with the dumbass?” Laurie re: having to wear reflective belts during the day in Georgia

“The top floor of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is proof that God speaks through rock and roll.” me re: solving the world’s problems/proof of God's existence (if you haven't toured the Rock Hall, do so)

“The Army shortens whole words to letters but feels the need to turn letters into whole words.” Todd re: the phonetic alphabet

“Practice doesn’t make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect.” SSgt Clark (land nav/plgr instructor... I guess that clears everything up, eh?)

“Well, you don’t have to.” The 40 or so people crammed into the stinking 8-man latrine (a shed over a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of plywood with eight holes cut in it) in response to Todd’s question: “What, do you have to stand there staring at the guy’s (tool) across from you?” (It should be noted that bathroom facilities in the location where I am now, though not as reliable, are much better than many of those at Ft. Benning)

“You must be that guy who’s always right.” John after debating, with Keith, the fact that “short, blonde-haired girl” is a confusing description of a tall girl with short blonde hair.

“I hope I end up in the same VA home with you guys.” John (out of the blue at bed time... think of the Waltons all saying goodnight to each other and then throw this comment in the mix - we rolled out of our bunks laughing)

“My brother and I against our cousin, the three of us against our neighbor, the four of us against the world.” Arab adage (cultural awareness class) (not funny)

“He’s a punk.” Iraq TTP’s and Culture instructor (who was, otherwise, quite professional) re: Muqtada Al Sadr’s son, who was already a contender in the (then) upcoming Iraqi elections.

“Did you know there’s a thingy hanging down and wrapped around your leg?” Laurie re: someone's gas mask strap

“...probably, probably not. One thing is for certain: you will die.” Major Negron during Ground Assault Convoy Training. Major Negron was a realist... not terribly encouraging, but a realist nonetheless.

“Well ya know... stupid weighs more than muscle.” Chris re: some peoples’ weight loss during this deployment vs. others' weight gain (for the record, my weight, while visibly reduced during the first two months, is pretty much the same now... I'm not sure what that means in light of this quote.)

“Sometimes I see stupid people... (and they don’t even know they’re idiots.”) Bob, whispered ala The Sixth Sense, after witnessing a random act of idiocy

“He knows all about Star Wars Action Figures, especially which ones feel good up your ass.” Greg during a discussion of our personnel’s various areas of expertise. (no, he wasn't talking about Bob)

It should be noted that several of my closest friends have vacated my current location on their way back to greener pastures. I hope the Big Guy watches over them during the remainder of their travels. I'll be joining them soon... but not soon enough.

As we wind down and prepare to hand off, I am, once again, grateful for the amenities and the friends I've made, the strength God has given me, the support of family and friends back home. I fear my remaining time will creep along incredibly slowly... like the last leg of a long car trip... 15 miles you cover without thinking about it in your everday routine, but that make your legs and back and eyes ache when they're the last 15 of a 500 mile trip. I'm still surrounded by friends, but the ones I've worked most closely with for the last 18 years lucked out and got on the first trip out of here. I'm happy for them and saddened by the fact that they're no longer here to entertain me, to keep me sane and to keep my mind off my looming departure.

Part of the present difficulty comes from the fact that every day here just runs together. My first day here is barely distinguishable from yesterday. Events from two hours ago could have been last week or last month. So it's hard to wrap my mind around the day I will leave because the time between now and then has no meaning here... it could be a day, it could be six months. If it's not what I'm concentrating on right now, it doesn't exist to me. It seems like a lifetime.

Having said that, life is good and getting better. I've fired off a draft of my transition instructions for revision and I am starting to see more and more replacements in funny hats with their wide eyes and crazy ideas about accomplishing something. We're actually leaving a little earlier than expected... I certainly can't complain about that!

Type at ya later.
Luth