Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Something far greater than government intervention

Ever unwrap a kid's toy? In the last ten years or so? What's with all that crap in there and how much does it cost. How much time have you lost untwisting wires, hauling yards of cardboard and plastic out to the garage, accidentally discarding a small piece of the product that got mixed in with the mountain of packaging? Though hampered by a literary mind, even I can guesstimate that the amount of money spent on packaging is huge. Think about one of those classic 5-stick packs of Wrigley's gum - there's more packaging there than there is gum! And that's just your pack. Now think about how many of those little packs roll off an assembly line in an hour... a day... my lifetime. It's staggering. And we're paying for this stuff that we throw away! But that's not the point and the gum is easy to get at in spite of all that wrapping. And since I'm putting it in my mouth, I'm glad that wrapping's there, but does Barbie really need to come packaged in more raw materials than compose my favorite chair in order to safely reach my house?

So I thought I'd use my 'blog for a noble purpose - uniting parents, godparents, aunts, uncles, older siblings, etc. in reducing the amounts of crap we have to buy in order to get the stuff our kids want.

By now you all know I'm a liberal and reducing the massive stream of landfill-bound materials is clearly a good thing in my mind, but my motivation here is much more selfish and, on a worldly scale, much less practical or altruistic than that. I'm just sick of the whole process of breaching the outer plastic wrap, then finding the kevlar perma-tape on the end flap of the box, then finding just the right plastic tab to break off in order to slide the wired and trussed contraption out of the main box, then removing the molded inner plastic, then beginning the unwiring process, then removing the place-holding inner cardboard, then unwiring the main items, the accessories, then finally, the piece of the toy the kids actually wanted. In the meantime, they're out playing with the outer box and the accessories are lost in a pile of shredded cardboard, plastic wrap, molded plastic protective pieces, and a mile and a half of little wires and shreds of cardboard. Mom tries madly to keep up with the trash and wrapping paper so she grabs a lot of it up before it hits the carpet, but in the process, throws away the ONE accessory that, as it turns out, was all the kids really needed anyway, and now we're left, 45 minutes later, with about a buck and a half toy and a $17 pile of packaging.

OK, that sounds cheap... and I'm not when it comes to spoiling my kids. But seriously, how much does the toy cost and how much does all that packaging cost? And what about the labor to put all that packaging together. If it takes half the time to wrap it all up so neatly (and how could it not?) as it takes to get it out, that's gotta cost some bucks. Wouldn't it be in the toy peoples' best interest to work with me on this? But again, it's not even about that. It's about the nightmarishly tedious process of getting one frickin' remote control boat out of her packaging and about the drain on sanity and precious family time it creates on the one day when you relly don't need the stress.
Now, since most of you know I'm a liberal, you may be thinking (based on ignorant interpretations of that term) I'm asking for some sort of government intervention in this situation. Nothing could be further from the truth. As an observer of politics for some time now, I know there's no greater way to institutionalize a flawed process than to have government regulate it. I'm seeking something far greater and more effective than government intervention. I'm seeking a solution. But I can't get it alone. I need all buyers of kids' toys to join me in telling toy marketers to cut the crap. And when I say "tell them" I mean with our wallets... and maybe an email. We all know that money talks. (and government regulation walks) So join me in this battle. Let the toy people know that we love their products as long as our kids love them and we'll keep buying them, but we'll buy the ones that aren't in all the packaging FIRST. If that means buying it used off of an online auction or garage sale, so be it.

Again, I'm not advocating a boycott or anything as ineffective or counterproductive. I'm just saying let's tell them how we (the people with the money) feel. Maybe by the next Christmas or birthday we can actually play with those toys we bought our kids instead of unwrapping them and hauling away the detritus for the entire afternoon.

Who's with me?

Luth

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm with ya' Luth even though I haven't reproduced (but I still play with toys :-)
By the way, I'm guessing detritus is an English teacher's word meaning "packaging crap"?

Anonymous said...

But Luth, then you'd put 100s or 1000s of Packaging Engineers out of business. And think of all the marketing types who think up and design all these nice packages. Do you want that on your conscience? And who is going to pay the exorbitant unemployment costs? Unintended consequences?

Seriously, I'm with you too. My wife already does her best to buy recycled goods that doesn't have all that packaging. And I also agree with you on reducing what goes into the landfill. Hope you don't mind that I'm agreeing with you on this one.

Anonymous said...

Now you're just plain trying to piss me off!

Anonymous said...

OK, with a minimum amount of training we could turn those out-of-work packaging experts into teachers. How's that? That make you happier?

Anonymous said...

Ouch! That's hittin' where it hurts. Seriously though, I doubt any of them would be willing to take the pay cut. Hey, since when are you concerned with labor? Other than as an expense, that is.

Anonymous said...

Not sure if I ever told you, but I work in Human Resources so I have to ride the fence, so to speak. Bottom line is I have to look out for the company's best interests, but sometimes that means being an advocate for the employee. I tell people I am the corporate "wife", manufacturing earns the money and I spend it. That said, keep your comments clean.

I was a teacher for 2 years right out of college many years ago. I do have a deep respect for teachers and believe they are underpaid for what is expected of them. My degree is in music theory and I took the teaching job because it was in the music field. I soon learned something very important, a successful teacher is one whose primary interest is working with students; math, English, history, music, phys ed, is secondary. I hold my wife up as an example, she may not be the best mathematician, but she is able to get students to learn.

Bill said...

Dude...I am so with you.

Here's my question...

How come my 1 year old (almost!) has toys that are hermetically sealed in an impenetrable mix of bulletproof plastic, wire, laminated paper products, and industrial strength adhesives but freakin' human organs for transplant are carted around in a two dollar styrofoam cooler you can pick up at the SuperX?

jeesh

Luth said...

Well, perhaps the three of us can change the world... but I'll have the Sawzall ready next Christmas just in case.

What kind of key words should I include in my next post on this topic in order to attract a broader audience?

How about "Paris Hilton Nude"