Do You Believe In Santa?

My kids have been asking some sly questions about Santa this year. I'm not sure I like the line of these questions. One thing I do know is that I believe in Santa. And that's what I tell them even when that's not exactly what they ask. It's true though. I do believe. How could I not? I'm a terminal optimist so I don't really have a choice. I look at it like this:

I believe there's a guy out there who loves children for the future they represent, or that it doesn't even have to be as heavy as that... he just loves children, and not in a way that will land him on the evening news either. (Remember when you could say that without having to qualify it like that?) What's not to love? The innocence, the unfiltered perspective on the world, the fascination with the everyday observations most of us fail to notice anymore? The unlimited and uninhibited enthusiasm. The capacity for hope. The boundless energy? How can there not be lots of people who love children that much? I believe there's a guy like that.

I believe there's a guy who loves to bring joy to children or even people who are kids at heart just for the sake of bringing joy. I know people like that in my own neighborhood so why is it so hard to believe there's a guy out there like that? I remember people like that from when I was growing up and recently, having moved back to my hometown, I've had my heart warmed by the fact that most of them haven't changed. Some have grown up, some have grown out, some have grown gray, but they still seem to live to make others smile. So yeah, I believe there's a guy like that. Lots of them in fact.

I believe there's a guy who takes the time to remind us all that life can be that simple. That going to bed early and getting up early 'cuz you can't wait for that big day to start is more than just a childish dream. That knowing people love you is all the gift you need. That having a house full of people, even for no good reason, can do as much to bring peace to the world as any political posturing ever might. That for one day it won't hurt you, hell it might even help you, to be nice to someone, even if you won't bother doing it for the rest of the year.

I believe there's a guy who keeps track of who is naughty and who is nice. I believe he tends to forget the naughty marks on the list quite a bit, but never forgets the nice. That we could all use someone to do that for us and to remind us of it in an encouraging way like Santa does. That we could all stand to remember the nice things we've done for others and how it made us feel. That we could do better to remember that others have done nice things too, especially when we're not real happy with them. That making the nice list doesn't rest on what country you're from or what kind of clothes you wear or what you call God or even if you believe in God.

I believe there's a guy out there who believes in me. Who knows I try my best even when I fail miserably. Who makes sure there's always someone there to share my successes and encourage me to keep trying. Someone I can count on and who loves me even when my tie doesn't match my pants or I'm wearing one blue sock and one black one. Or when I forgot to bring what I was supposed to and thus wasted the trip. There's a guy who reminds me that wasted trips can be turned into opportunities to bond and strengthen and grow.

I believe there's a guy who can pull off incredibly difficult feats that most people would say are logistically, even physically impossible. Heck, I know people who have done it. I've even tried to help. If people like that exist in my little part of the world, If I've been able to contribute to things like that, I'm sure there's someone out there who can do it on a much larger scale. I know that guy exists.

I believe there's a guy out there without ulterior motives. A guy who is just nice. Who does the right thing even when no one's watching. Who is consistent and fair and who is a role model to young and old alike. Who always makes us stand just a little straighter, speak a little more softly, and open our hearts a little more than we're used to doing when he's not around.

I believe that we all know this guy and whenever he's around, we're reminded of what we told ourselves the last time we saw him: that we'd do better, be nicer, try harder. That some of the things we've worried about turned out to be not that important and that we'd promise to try to keep that in mind the next time we lost perspective. And then he goes away again and we slip right back into our routine and forget our promises to ourselves and to him, but then he comes back and doesn't say a word about the slip, just asks how we're doing and we're reminded again and we wish
he could just be around all the time so maybe we won't slip again.

I believe there's a guy out there who lives in a place we only dream about. A guy who decided to move there because he believed he could make it. He believed in himself and knew that's where he wanted to be and so he just made it happen. And it's not always easy there, but he never tells us about the hard parts, just keeps on making it look easy. A guy who still writes, still visits, still calls, still maintains relationships and never forgets names and faces and amazes us wherever he goes because he knows someone and the people he knows smile as bright as the sun when they see him. They roll out the red carpet for him and serve items not even on the menu and have his favorite beverage waiting before he even orders it.

I believe in that guy. I believe in lots of guys like that. Girls too. I know if I'm lucky enough to have real people like that in my life, with the little good I've brought to the world, then the combined good of others means there's someone out there, someone real, someone even bigger and better for all of us. I wouldn't be able to provide a social security number or tax records for him, but I know he exists. That stuff wouldn't matter anyway. This guy's bigger than all of that. His existence can't be proven in court but that's hardly the point. Objective evidence, hard data doesn't come into play when this guy's in the room. Life is much richer, fuller than those petty affairs of lesser men as long as this guy is around. He settles lawsuits before they become legal matters. He mends fences, drops off homemade pies, shovels walks and gets kittens out of trees. He lets the dog out while you're on vacation and returns found wallets and the law and physical evidence don't have anything to do with any of it. He lets you pull out in front of him or stops when you're stuck on the side of the road. Or maybe just smiles when you pass rather than averting his eyes and pretending to be focused on something more important just ahead.

I know that guy and I know he's real. So do you.

Yeah, I believe in Santa. I don't even have to think about it. People have told me that this is just more proof that I haven't grown up, won't face reality, I'm still naive, an idealist. Perhaps they're right, but I still believe in Santa.

Merry Christmas.

Luth

Horse Poup advocates violence

The Holocaust convention recently held in Paris is a lost opportunity for weapons testing. Anytime you get that many people together in one place... people who even remotely question the horror that was the holocaust, in spite of the evidence of the evil of mankind that still remains to confirm it as unrevisable (I just made that word up) history, you also have the opportunity to do the world a favor by eliminating them.

Yeah, I know, that sounds pretty harsh, but denying the holocaust is like denying evolution in spite of the fossil evidence, the rocks that fail to knock sense into even harder skulls. I’ll never argue that anyone or anything other than God set evolution into motion, but evolution happened. It’s how we “got here” even if God is how we got here.

Speaking of the scientific evidence of evolution being as sound as the need to eliminate anyone from a position of national (or even PTA) leadership who doesn’t recognize the fact of the holocaust... strike that, eliminate them from Earth, not just from positions of leadership. After all if insanity or incompetence or just plain ignorance were a deal breaker in that respect, well, you know where I’m going with that. As I was saying, speaking of evidence, though not scientific...

I heard the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens on the radio this afternoon. His name’s Yusuf Islam now. You can’t listen to that guy’s music, past or present (he’s got a new record out after a 30-year sabbatical) and believe for a second that Islam is a violent faith. I know that’s not the kind of evidence that would hold up in court or a tribunal. On the new record, he covered the Animals’ “Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood” because he thinks his faith often is. He said the song’s a great jumping off point for his explanation of how a westerner decided to convert to Islam after growing up western. He went on to explain what most sane people already know: That his faith, when practiced by reasonable people has more in common with other faiths than it has in contrast. He specifically mentioned silly little things about Islam that drew him to it like beliefs about the good in humankind, how it incorporates all people under one God, and how it preaches peace and acknowledges the books of all other faiths as well. Which is to say, his religion both provides him with and preaches peace.

So anyway, yeah, nuke the holocaust deniers. Quick, while it’ll only take one bomb!

And speaking of those who ignore the obvious, (Yo, Browns, draft an offensive line this year) I read a cool article about a woman who, after time at Harvard and the U of Chicago and loads of research in Africa, told Esquire (in last month’s Best and Brightest Issue) that AIDS in Africa won’t go away until poverty does.

I’m not knocking her for this so simple it just might work ovservation, really. As you may have guessed, I’m knocking Bush policy. I'll explain... Ya see, desperation and poverty go hand in hand and while curing poverty doesn’t always cure desperation (see “John Belushi” or “Chris Farley”) it does go a long way to provide opportunities for people who might otherwise be drawn to martyrdom, or lesser terrorism. I didn’t go to Harvard (even to get the t-shirt) but I have been to Chicago (wasn’t allowed on the U campus cuz they’d seen my transcripts and my alma mater) and I have spent a night at a Holiday Inn Express and I’m telling you that I couldn’t agree more with this brainiac woman who has spent her life studying AIDS and economics. (I'm really not making fun of her... it was a cool article about the economics of AIDS in Africa, namely, how much the disease will cost all of us if we continue to believe that terrorists present more of a threat to us than AIDS)

What I don’t understand is why doesn’t Bush get it? The only successful campaign against terrorism is one that declares poverty as its enemy. Does it appear to anyone that poverty is what we invaded Iraq to stop? Yeeaahh. That’s not gonna work. All right, that’s about enough for now.

No wait. We gotta send all the troops to Iraq now. Seriously. Remember back when John Kerry said that crazy shit about “who wants to be the last guy to die in Vietnam?” Ditto for Iraq, but before we leave the mess we created to the Iraqis now that we’ve liberated them, we owe it to them to at least make the place safe enough for our troops to get out. In order to do that we’ll have to do what Colin Powell suggested before he was axed: send in overwhelming force. That’ll calm everyone down for a while, then, while they’re sleeping, we can all crawl back into the big wooden horse and come home safely. After that, those folks can go back to their old methods of finding a way to peacefully coexist. They were doing just fine without us.

On that note...

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Luth